In theory, polygamy is every man's dream; multiple wives who are all devoted to only you (think Big Love). However, the arguments that exist against it are plenty. If you can't be tied down to just one woman, here are some rebuttals from Esquire magazine that you can spout in response to the famous anti-polygamy arguments.

Polygamists only marry underage women. True, some do. But not all. Polygamy isn't any more oppressive to women than monogamous male-female marriage. Should booze be banned because Lindsay Lohan can't hold her Jack?

If you legalize polygamy, it's a slippery slope, and next you'll have to legalize men marrying goats. Ummm...not really. Two adult women who are capable of saying yes or no do not equal one mute goat.

Polygamy is an affront to God and the Bible. Depends which part of the Bible; In the Old Testament, polygamy is accepted without judgment. David has eight wives. And Solomon holds the record with 700.

It's bad for the kids. The studies are vague. Anthropologist Philip Kilbride says that polygamy would reduce the divorce rate and be better for kids.

There would be a single-man surplus. This is the most realistic and severe problem. The math is simple: The rich men will snap up several women. (This will be true even if polygamy is a two-way street, as it should be. Women should be allowed to marry multiple men. But most won't. DNA and testosterone say that men will be the ones who do most of the spouse collecting.)